Closer
by gargz
Summary: "So how do you get over that feeling, that you're doing something wrong? Especially when your heart belongs to someone else." Rachel asks tentatively. The answer she gets from Santana is not the one she's looking for. "You don't. Not until the person you want to be with is the one you're actually with." Post Goodbye. Finchel with a side of Brody/Rachel


**This just popped into my mind after seeing pictures of Lea and Dean filming in New York this weekend. I don't know what will come of this but my thoughts are its a one-shot.**

**I have another story I am working on, but at the moment its just pen and paper.  
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**Enjoy!  
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They've been dating for a little over two months and by dating she mean's going out on dates. To the movies, to a show or out to dinner. It's different how mature it is to be _dating_ someone; she realizes that it is much different than having a boyfriend. Although technically Brody is her boyfriend.

She like's dating Brody he's easy going and fun, they laugh as much as they talk. He doesn't question her crazy loyalty to Broadway, he doesn't get angry when she spends days preparing for a scene or singing and forgets to call him. He gets it.

Two months is enough time to realizes just how different he is, his touch, his smell, his body - all foreign too her, but in the best way. She gets to explore a whole new side of herself and for the first time she feels carefree.

He's a romantic and loves the small traditions and gestures of dating. When they go out he opens the door for her and pulls out her chair, he always tells her she looks beautiful and when they walk down the crowded streets of New York his hand is always entwined with hers. She's used to being the affectionate one in a relationship, some say clingy - _Puck_ and others say needy - _Jesse_, but with Brody he's the affectionate one. She commented on it once and he said he just loves the feeling of being close to her; she blushed and kissed his cheek. She doesn't have a lot of experience but kissing him is a whole new experience one that she is more than willing to relive over and over again.

Their relationship hasn't progressed further than that yet but they have defiantly explored; hours of lips pressed against lips - check. Wandering hands - Check. They've had the discussion about exes, it's hard not too when he notices that she wears a necklace with a ring around it. She doesn't tell him that she was at one point engaged, just that she was in love and it didn't end well.

She's discussed it with Kurt and Santana when the appropriate time is in a new relationship but the answers she gets are scattered. Kurt tells her to be absolutely sure that she wants to take the next step because it's not something she can ever take back. Santana ends up having the answer Rachel is seeking, she makes its simple, when it doesn't feel forced or uncertain then you know it's the right time.

She takes the advice to heart and when Brody is finally able to pull his lips from hers so they can catch their breath, she's quick to take in her surroundings - he has her pushed flush against her apartment door, his hand resting low on her butt and his other hand dangerously close to her breasts. When she whispers to invite him in for the night it doesn't feel forced or uncertain, she feels ready.

_The Morning After_

_She's stirred from her sleep at the overwhelming feeling of being over heated. She can feel the early morning rays of sun on her back and a warm body behind her. When she tries to shift the arm wrapped around her pulls her closer, "hmm why are you awake," a groggy voice huffs behind her his breath against her ear._

_She smiles and turns over to face the boy behind her. She looks up into kind and familiar eyes of the boy whose arms she spent the night in and she can't help but blush._

_"How do you feel?"_

_"Amazing. You?"_

_"Amazing," she blushes at the intense look in eyes. It's the same reassuring look he gave her last night when they finally decided to take their relationship to the next level. He's playing with the hem of his t-shirt that she put on when they finally fell asleep. _

_"Thank you for last night; it was everything I hoped it would be. You made me feel so special and loved. It was the best night of my life." Rachel whispers as she faces the man she loves, his chest still bare and warm._

_He leans down and kisses her lips softly, "I love you." He whispers against her lips. "I wish the night would've been perfect. I kind of ruined your big night with my bad news." He looks ashamed for a minute but Rachel is quick to pull his attention back to her._

_"Finn, last night was the most special and perfect night I could've ever asked for. Just being with you being able to share this with you is all I've ever wanted for us. You're the love of my life." She holds his eyes so he knows that she means it. Even though the first show of _West Side Story_ was a great success, nothing can measure up to this moment right now, her and Finn entwined in each other.  
_

_He nods his head in understanding and closes the barely existing gap between them so he can fuse his lips to hers in a sensual kiss. She turns her head to the clock to see the numbers flashing 6:15, "it's early. What do you want to do?" She sees a flicker in his eyes and a second later he has rolled on top of her, pulling his comforter over both their heads. _

_She's laughing, "I think I can think of a way to pass the time." He smirks, his eyes go wide when Rachel pulls his shirt over her head and throws it across the room. "So hot." He mumbles taking her lips in his. Her resounding laugh is all that can be heard._

She wakes with a start her heart racing and her face flushed. It's been months since she's thought about that night, that morning after the first time her and Finn finally had sex. It was the best moment of her life, the realist moment in her life. Everything was perfect, the moment, the emotion, the boy. She looks at her clock and see's that she's over slept, the bed beside her is empty.

She walks into the kitchen to see Kurt and Santana sitting at the breakfast bar eating. "Looks like someone got some last night." Rachel scolds Santana for her crude humor. "For your information I did not get _some_ last night. Brody did not stay the night, I just...had a...an interesting dream is all." Kurt looks disgusted and Santana can't keep the smirk off her face.

"Way to go Berry your very first sex dream. How does it feel...hot, warm, stic..." Rachel cuts her off before she finishes that sentence. "eww and no. It was a very pleasant memory of a very important moment in my life."

Santana scoffs, "was it about getting naked with Brody?" Rachel rolls her eyes but shakes her head, "then I don't care."

Rachel helps herself to the serving that Santana put out, "it was about...uh...Finn." She closes her eyes in anticipation of the questions coming her way.

"Eww I don't want to hear about that." Kurt says first.

"I second that...I don't want to hear about Finnept. Been there done..." Santana is cut off when Rachel sends her a hard stare. "Wait. Why are you having sex dreams about Finn? That's what Brody's for."

Rachel doesn't know what to say because Santana's not wrong. She and Brody were kissing and things started to get heated and the moment she thought it was going to go further she started to panic and everything Santana said kept replaying in her head and she just couldn't go through with it.

"Look I'm only telling you this because it's pathetic how sad _and_ confused you are right now, but Britt was my first, not just with a girl but my first ever. But I was so far in the closet after it happened that I started to sleep around with guys and the first time I slept with Puck I cried because it felt wrong, like I was cheating on Brittany." Santana explains.

"So how did you get over that feeling, that you're doing something wrong? Especially when your heart belongs to someone else." Rachel asks tentatively. The answer she gets from Santana is not the one she's looking for.

"You don't. Not until the person _you_ want to be with is the one you're actually with."

All Rachel hears is _fake it to you make it_, and it's not comforting at all.


End file.
